to understand, be understood

how many mommies encountered the following issue with their toddler.

"why can't you do it right?"

"why you not listening?"

"why you don't follow instruction?"

"why are you throwing tantrum again!"

to be frank, i encountered all of the above when my boy is about 1.5 - 2 years old.

i wondered why my toddler could not understand me and be co-operate with us to make our lives easier. the matter of fact, we are the ones who do not understand them, causing them to misbehave. physically they are not able to express their emotions and thinking effectively, hence causing the act of "misbehavior" to attract our attention or even protest against us for not understanding their needs.

you might be thinking "how do you know that your toddler misbehave because you do not understand him?"

initially i don't. i threatened him with cane and punished him at his "naughty corner" several times. but none works. i was at my wit. i know this is not him (my boy) and there must be a way to resolve this. thereafter i started to recall that he once was a co-operative boy, when this behavior had started and how it had became worst each time.

then i realized we had been neglecting him due to work commitments and putting "me" time as priority. We fetch him home from childcare after work and when we reached home, we fed him and left him to play with his toys by himself. My hubby and me, will do other stuff, except interacting with him (my boy). since then, he became more and more short tempered and started to throw tantrum. when i told my hubby, he totally agreed to my analysis and we started to give him more attention and have more playtime together. 

to our surprise, all the misbehavior vanished into the air within a few days from our first "solution implementation". this incident is a waking call for us. reminding us how we must consistently show our love and attention to our love ones to build effective communication bridge with them. only when we put in effort to understand them, we will be understood.

and of course, every toddler is different and have their own needs. much effort and self reflection will do the job, if not seek professional advice. just my 2 cents worth. :)

have a good day!